Focused on the future and no longer the past. Everything and everyone is behind me. Bigger and better things
Well I officially lost my last friend today. I’ve never thought that of all people I’d loose my brother Meech as a companion. Im hurt but…. I guess its not surprising. Nobody truly cares about me. Everyone whos ever claimed to care about me in some shape or form has hurt me… and then exited my life. -sigh- Meech was the only person I had left to talk to and keep my sanity.
So I went thru my phone and deleted all my contacts out of my gmail so that there is no way to get any of my numbers back. I have 3 contacts in my entire phone… and one is my dr office. Guess I am truly alone now.
Oh Well. I’ve spent the majority of it alone. I guess I can just as easily stay alone.
I go to work and sit in a corner and avoid every bit of existence…. I dont want friends anymore. I dont need anyone to pretend they like me…. besides… nobody wants anything till they need something from me.
-shrugs- im done.
So, I made reservations at a fancy 4 star restaurant jazz bar…. called F. Fitzgerald thus weekend for me and my honey bear. The place was amazing. Complementary valet [I tipped him like 10 bucks, we were the only ones actually using valet n I knew how it was for Meech… so I tipped nicely]
We had a beautiful table with perfect seating…. this place was sooo fancy the only drink menu was wines n such. I ordered salmon and some fries and for my sweetheart, he got smething with muscles and shrimp and all kinda seafood.
Then after we ate we were seated in the bar for the performance as well as enjoy dessert. I had a lovely itialian creme cake and my better half had hand fried apple pie. Everything was amazing as far as food goes. The music was beautiful. The crowd consisted of old fancy white folks. Most of them reminded me of my grandma. And as I looked around the very high-end restaurant…. i finally realized…. Why my grandma was the way that she was. She did the things that she did…..not to down me but to make me a better black person. So I can smile and and dine just like the rich white people. So I could be good at their game but inside kno… ha… you are no better than me… and as they feel.. so I could play that fancy… high end roll n not be out of place.